I'm utterly....just sad.
I had to go to the XOXO meet today (which is the charity mom, steph, and I work for). We had to see Eddie (Mom's old boyfriend from high school who is a recent family friend. Well, last night was also's Mom's 35th high school reunion at Shaw. Eddie was supposed to pick her up at 7 and she's literally been excited and planning what she was going to wear for like, a month. Well, he calls at 6 and says he's going to be late because of work...
AND HE NEVER CALLS HER BACK.
And mom was like, "don't worry about it" when i got all pissed off and started to curse Eddie like I never have anyone before. But apparently, it brought back alot of her old high school memories. Mom was a cheerleader her 9th grade year, but she didn't get on the squad 10th grade year and she was pretty much alone (partially because of Uncle Coale being sick all the time.) And she wouldn't go by herself to see those people.
Well, today, when we went to the meet up, Eddie comes up to me, and hugs on my shoulder and whispers, "So, is your mom made at me about last night?" And I swear to god, I wasn't even thinking when I responded with, "Not nearly as mad as I am."
When i finally told mom about it when we were about to leave, she turned around and said she was going to say goodbye to everyone. But as she turned, I heard her say, "you ruined everything."
Needless to say, it crushed me. So the whole way home, I cried my eyes out. Everyone reading this knows that I have never been a truly confrontational or bold person. So I automatically responded with regret and beat myself up. Well, mom tried to comfort me and managed to get me into semi-hysterical sobs instead of full on hysterics.
And all was well, for about 2 hours.
It's most likely my fault for even mentioning it to her in the first place, but I had to do it. (btw, today was Hawaii day, and it's pretty much been the subject of all conversation.) Okay, To give you guys some background, Mom is dead set on Kana staying home for Hawaii, and I will not stand for it.
So i mentioned that I was not going to leave her here, in a very calm, mature fashion. I told mom i didn't want to start an arguement with her over it, and that I was miserable on the last trip to GULF SHORES because she was left behind. (really, I cried the ENTIRE way there and only stopped when we had to get out of the car.)
Mom looks at me, and tells me hell no. In those words.
Then, I ask why she's so dead set on me not bringing her. She tells me that if I put her in one of those bags, she'll get broken.
My response it to tell her that I was planning on bringing her as a Carry on, and mom FLIPS OUT.
She looks at me and tells me that, "Her 17 year old daughter is not carrying a doll on a plane." and that, "It's just not right. It's too juvenile."
So That leads me to tell her that most of my bjd-peers are women in their 20's and up. Well, that does nothing. So I ask her if she is embarrased or ashamed of me because of Kana.
And she tells me, "yes". She is ashamed and embarrassed of me because I treasuer Kana as much as I do.
Which of course, leads me to start off into another more-hysterical crying fit than before.
Finally, I wore her down to the point that I was almost yelling at her. (which I never do.). But she, at last, submitted to the fact that I was getting Kana on the plane, whether she liked it or not. So I'm going to have to pack Kana in my carry on bag, full of pillows and protective items to keep her safe. Under the condition that if Kana is "Damaged", as mom put it, I am to not UTTER one word about it. If she even has to hear Kana's name over the spanse of that week, she swears she will, "Lose it".
It has not been a happy weekend for anyone, has it?